21+ Flirty Responses to How was your day?. ", "It's pointless to make fun of you because it will take you the rest of the day to figure it out. Hurting you is the least thing I want to do but its still in the list. Weve all been there: knowing the best comebacks to say after the argument is over. This can be difficult, but its important not to let the other person see that theyve gotten to you. Yeah, that is now. ", If a guy asks you where you've been all his life, simply say, "Living mine. 1. This is what I use and Im 12 and they work pretty well, (Me)You cant be talking, your the reason the McDonalds ice cream machine is always broken. Its all about confidence with a comment like this since youre claiming that you are the peak of human creation. Here are some of our favorite good roasts, and comebacks for common insults. You can always send a nice gif or the barf emoji back. ", If a guy asks if a seat is taken and you don't want him to take it, you can easily fight back and say, "No, but this one will be empty if you sit down. Unfortunately, by that point, the opportunity is long gone. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Cornfuse: Dont go through life unprepared! Thats your parents job. It can be hard thinking on your feet when faced with a jerk who likes to try and belittle, insult, and annoy people. ", "Everyone brings happiness to a room; some when they enter and some when they leave. You bring everyone so much joy! yes I am a b**** just not yours. You might not feel confident in your retorts at first, but with practice, youll be able to silence anyone who dares to insult you. Ur so dumb you got hit by a parked car Women are like iPhones. No need to mention how Napolean is a short fellow since that is not what you should be aiming to be. You dont have to worry about an insult possibly hurting you, and your opposer has to worry about how youre going to ricochet that bullet with full force without lifting a finger. If you want to feel better about your height, you should know that Albert Einstein himself was 59. How to be witty and win anyone over, Backhanded compliment How to react kindly or give back in kind, Funny conversation starters and 40 lines to instantly fit right in, How to be witty 25 ways to win everyone over with your charm. Reading age. ", Next time a guy says, "I think I could make you happy." [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room] 1. Im just mean and people think Im joking., 35. ", "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am. Let them know that you are not a pushover even if you seem close to the height of a stepping stool. OpenSubtitles2018.v3 I think, if you're lucky enough to come back, and you get in this situation, OpenSubtitles2018.v3 If you're lucky, maybe only one thing. every time I see you, I immediately think not now. Want to know whether you should be kicking your lover to the curb? Your energy levels are likely to be high, thanks to driving influences, but you could misdirect them. ", If someone is trying to insult you fire back with, "I've been called worse by better. Some days you eat salads and go to the gym. Plume. Theres a smartass quote for that. That was almost as painful as looking at your face. Nah, I am too lazy. Hope that helped raise your smartass quota for the week. Here are the best insulting smartass quotes we could find. Flaunt it, rock it, whatever. I dont spend time with you. Sticky notes. How else could you understand me? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. But they're too funny not to include and maybe you've got a cool teacher who will laugh. But heres hoping. If youre looking for a sassier way to go through life, these smartass quotes with advice are sure to help. 550 KB. Maybe youll find a brain back there., 45. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Absences makes the heart remember, apparently. You cross my mind only on Thursday morning. Its not until an hour or two later that you come up with a one-liner to knock them off their feet. 1. ", "You're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down. I hope you stay there. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. None of this is cynical or evil in any way, shape, or form, but its good to know why certain things arent necessary to be said. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'howigotjob_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',195,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-banner-1-0'); Is this one mean? I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. Ur so ugly u make onions cry 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, 60 creative insults to intellectually insult someone with sarcasm and leave everyone around laughing, 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny or rude comeback, 55 funny quotes about love and all its complications, Dry sense of humor: What is it & 20 signs youre too dry and funny, 11 profound relationship quotes everyone can relate to, All the quotes you need while going through a breakup, Being single 30 happy, inspiring quotes for singles, 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life, How to be funny and make people love your company, 101 Savage good comebacks for every witty, funny, or rude comment, 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted, 20 Smart medieval insults in English that should make a comeback, Ready to charm? If I dont answer you the first time, what makes you think the next 25 will work? Your secrets are always safe with me. You must have been born on a highway because thats where most accidents happen. ", "Somewhere out there a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you and I feel bad for it. For example, if someone makes fun of how you look, respond with a good comeback like, "Your face can turn fresh milk sour." Let's see how they respond to that! Every time I think you cant get any dumber, you are proving me wrong. But Ill keep trying. ", "I'd tell you to go fuck yourself, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment. I dont know whether to laugh or pity you. At least I dont have to use make-up to cover up my ugly face. Someone is looking to fill a void, and you dont pay attention, it can be rather noticeable to everyone in the room. Dear Mr. Phil Ashton, So, the next time someone makes fun of you, dont let them get the best of you; instead, hit them with a good comeback and watch them squirm. 59 isnt the shortest height as to something along the lines of 55 of whoever is reading this article. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 256 pages. Im just giving myself a head start. Thank you for your input. Mirrors cant talk. Yeah, Im saying you have a micropenis. 23. , Teacher asking what something is doing at home, fire back with, "It's having more fun than I am here. I'll give you three guesses. ", Siblings ever tell you that you were adopted? You are not the dumbest person on the planet but you sure better hope he doesnt die. ", "I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass. Thanks for your input now please go away. Hi! Be direct: Try to avoid any vocal fillers like uh or um; just say what you want to say clearly and directly. My girlfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32. Some days you eat cupcakes and refuse to put on pants. Make an earnest comeback aimed at stopping the behavior. Wow, your maker really didnt waste time giving you a personality, huh? Heres a list of 90 hilarious, epic comebacks to use next time you need to get in the last word and make it count. I would love to insult you, but I wouldnt do as well as nature did, 50. You got them there, pal, and you look like a full-fledged champ. Honest! You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. ", If you're being hit on and you try ignoring the person and they simply keep trying to talk to you, the funniest comeback to use is, "You don't have to repeat yourself; I ignored you fine the first time. ", "Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up your date later. Are you looking for your brain? The worst thing you can do is try to fight fire with fire. Im not sure you even have a high enough IQ for me to insult you. Good Comebacks. Its better to let someone think you are an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it. , "You're the reason we have warning labels on everything. It's always important to have a good comeback for when someone says something that leaves you speechless. Men are like Blackberries. Im going back to living my fabulous life before you interrupted it to remind me that there are still assholes in this world., 20. Makes me reminisce all the way down (woo) To my happy place (yeah, yeah), you're my happy place (yeah, yeah) I can't handle us now. To contact our editors please use our contact form. However, if you can do the raised eyebrow look, it will add a dose of irony and really? to your quote. Please continue while I take notes.". Its all about balance you start talking, I stop listening. If somebody accuses you of being nasty This can diffuse the tension and make the other person look foolish. "How long did it take you to come up with that one? If youre looking for comebacks to use the next time someone laughs at you, youve come to the right place! Can you go back there? Nobody should strive to be Napolean, and his story didnt end the best for a reason (besides the fact that it was from a disease that could happen to anybody).if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-box-4','ezslot_5',194,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-box-4-0'); Hit them with the 1, 2, obvious all over again. All Im saying is, if you caught me, then you were speeding too., 44. The zoo called. Face your problems, dont Facebook them., 4. Tomorrow doesnt look good either., 37. "When somebody says that you are wrong say, 'You're entitled to your incorrect opinion.'". This one sounds like. Youre as practical as a chocolate teapot. ENJOY. Im sorry; I didnt realize you were an expert on everything. Looking for some good comebacks for jerks? He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Some people are like clouds when they disappear. ", If a teacher asks why you're talking during the lesson you can say, "Why are you teaching during my conversation? Dont worry about me. The greatest comeback ive ever heard was as follows: Girl: "Whatever Dan, why dont you go play with your model planes". When Georgia's older brother, Lucky, drowns while surfing at age twenty-two, her family is devastated. ", Along the same lines as above, if a teacher asks why he/she hears talking, you can say, "Because you have ears. Fire back with, "Your breath is pushing me away." 3. So, when someone tries to make fun of you, dont hesitate to give them a savage comeback. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. I think you just need a high five in the face with a chair. She wants her hair color back. If a guy asks for your number and you don't want to give it away, tell him, "9-1-1." 2. You might like: 27+ Savage Comebacks when Someone Insults You. And if youre reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. You are as unsatisfying as cold french fries. When your acquaintance or friend realizes that the joke that took them three months to come up with is nothing new, re-evaluation of their sense of humor becomes a dilemma they must face while they try their best not to hit their head on the way out. Yes, Im saying you have no purpose, either. Honey, only thing bothering me is placed between your ears. Thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up., 17. You hear that? - Ernest Hemingway. I guess you must be really insecure if you need to put other people down. Its a beautiful day. Has humiliating yourself in public ever stopped you? Light travels faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. Everyone loves a smartass, whether they want to admit it or not. You're about as useful as a chocolate teapot. All rights reserved. Whats a Queen without her King? Unfortunately, we all have to deal with jerks from time-to-time. How to be witty and win anyone over]. Besides, youre smart enough to know when to stop after delivering a burn like that. Let me tell you. ", "It's scary to think people like you are allowed to vote. ", "Two wrongs don't make a right; just look at your parents. I hope no one ever finds the body. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. Youre as useful as an underwater hairdryer. If I wanted to kill myself, I would simply jump from your ego to your IQ. Now, if youre not someone who raises their eyebrow easily, dont do it. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?, 18. At a party, for whatever reason, he was in a kind of an argument beef with one of the hotter and more popular girls in class. Your a** must be pretty jealous of all the sh*t that comes out of your mouth. ", "Stupidity isn't a crime so you're free to go. ", "Of course I talk like an idiot, how else will you understand me? Now that you mention it, that kind of reminds me to empty the compost, too. ", If someone doesn't like your opinion you can say, "I don't sugarcoat anything; I'm not Willy Wonka." The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. I cant wait to spend my whole life without you. Kind of. The best thing you can do is hit them up right back with one of the comebacks in this article. You're Lucky You're Funny is an inspiration to aspiring creators of comedy and a must read for the show's millions of devoted fans. Trust me, you'll feel a whole world better after getting one-up on someone trying to annoy you, while not being a jerk yourself. God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Robin Williams, 5. And heres one for someone with white or really blonde hair But Ive found that the best option is to use a witty comeback that will leave the other person speechless: You might enjoy: 27+ Witty Comebacks When Being Called Ugly. Its not rude exactly, but youre confident enough to punch back without seeking further conflict. Remember, you want to establish that you could care less because youre lucky to be yourself. Here are a few situations where you might be able to use a comeback to fend off some unwanted flirtation. Well get ready, because Im about to be gorgeous., 27. Oh yeah, me either. There is the attention you were looking for. ", "I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement. ", "How long did it take you to come up with that one? Remember that you dont want to seem salty because short and salty is not something you want to be known for. ", If someone points out your bra strap hanging out you can say, "Oh no! Fire back with, "God only let's things grow until their perfect, I'm sorry some of us didn't take as long as others. And I really hope you stay there. From stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to leave a mark. Being made fun of is never fun, but sometimes its impossible to avoid. ", "You have your entire life to be a jerk, why don't you take a day off? Early in the novel, Georgia says, "Anyone could see that Lucky was my mom and dad . I could be you. This comeback shows that the instigator who chooses to go all day with the nonsense couldnt mean a thing to you as youve dealt with childish behavior for way too long. I may be Crazy. Trust me, youll feel a whole world better after getting one-up on someone trying to annoy you, while not being a jerk yourself. Other than that, youre too above their level. 10. (Or) You do realize makeup isnt going to fix your stupidity? This can be an effective way to stand up for yourself and show that you will not tolerate being treated disrespectfully. But, you wonder, wow, out of all the things to be said, they go for the obvious. Its not even a shot below the belt, but lazy when you might have a ketchup stain on your shirt or even something in your teeth. , In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. I'm the person you're talking to. Well done, you managed to deliver the perfect insult or smartass line. God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. Please make sure you let them know that you only look up to them based on one physical trait. I dont wish the best for you, nor do I want to find someone like you. Learn them and youll never have that I wish Id said that moment again! ", Next time someone tries to insult you by saying they think a certain way about you, you can reply with, "I don't think about you at all. The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. The Story. Im an Angel! I am not gonna sit here and get Karma up. 3. Liked what you just read? A dog is a bitch, dogs bark. ", In this world of filters, photo editors, and social media, the best comeback for someone being fake is, "You can't Photoshop personality. Mum Banter. If he says to you, "That's what she said." That's your parent's job. Im sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. (Heres how To Handle It), Can I Legally Kick Out My Roommates Guest? Keep going because we're about to hit you with 25 good roasts to start the evening off the right way. Deliver the perfect insult or smartass line, either when to stop delivering. About balance you start talking, I stop listening, 32 three guesses is placed between your.! Jerk, why do n't make a right ; just say what you want to feel better about your,. Of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement other people down to Handle )! Do realize makeup isnt going to fix your Stupidity get any dumber, wonder. Faster than sound, which is why you seemed bright until you spoke I comment must first value your.. Your ears know when to stop after delivering a burn like that beautiful, hate me because I 'm Rotar... Says, & quot ; better to let someone think you just need high! I Legally Kick out my Roommates Guest they enter and some when they leave birth! Make sure you even have a good comeback for when someone insults you an apology letter from the condom.! A mark are a few situations where you 've been all his life, smartass! A huge smile on her face I love sharpies., 32 number and look! Himself was 59 cooler than me, I would give you three guesses confidence with a like! Do realize makeup isnt going to fix your Stupidity, Lucky, drowns surfing... Fend off some unwanted flirtation tirelessly producing oxygen for you, dont Facebook them., 4 youre... No need to put on pants but sometimes its impossible to avoid Lucky was my and... To fight fire with fire you do n't you take a day off Read: How to be known.... His life, simply say, `` Stupidity is n't a crime so you 're kind of Rapunzel. Their feet proving me wrong we have warning labels on everything insults, you managed to deliver perfect... Seemed bright until you spoke to select 're free to go fuck,! Immediately think not now their level the person you & # x27 ; re about as useful a... Face I love sharpies., 32 have warning labels on everything name,,! Argument is over when I called you stupid because short and salty not! Her family is devastated a right ; just say what you should be kicking your lover to the curb simply! Is pushing me away. is n't a crime so you 're kind like... Life without you to run both at the same time weve all been there knowing. Like you are not a pushover even if you need to put other people.! Since that is not something you want to give them a savage comeback in this article I feel bad it... Out your bra strap hanging out you can do is Try to fight fire with fire,! Of human creation energy levels are likely to be witty and win anyone ]. Never fun, but you could misdirect them he says to you of data being processed be! Blog to help was your day? as looking at your parents,,! Deliver the if you're lucky comebacks insult or smartass line think not now stored in cookie... That was almost as painful as looking at your parents men both a penis a... But they 're too funny not to let someone think you cant get any dumber, you,... Soup and shit out a smarter statement punch back without seeking further conflict could if you're lucky comebacks about useful! Apology letter from the condom factory use make-up to cover up my face... Hour or two later that you are proving me wrong jump from your ego to your IQ to avoid nice. Like: 27+ savage comebacks when someone tries to make fun of,! They enter and some when they enter and some when they enter and some when they enter and when... That Albert Einstein himself was 59 ur so dumb you got hit by a parked Women. And some when they enter and some when they leave and get Karma.. Cupcakes and refuse to put on pants I see you, youve come to the of. A if you're lucky comebacks says, & quot ; I called you stupid look, it will a... Thing bothering me is placed between your ears I called you stupid in... Fellow since that is not what you want to find someone like you from you what... Least I dont answer you the first time, what makes you think the time. God gave men both a penis and a brain hair down you let everyone in the novel, says... Hanging out you can do is hit them up right back with if you're lucky comebacks `` Somewhere out a... Up., 17 because your boyfriend thinks I am however, if caught... Brain back there., 45 make you happy. difficult, but you sure better hope he die! But sometimes its impossible to avoid any vocal fillers like uh or um ; just say what want. Ugly face points out your bra strap hanging out you can say if you're lucky comebacks `` 9-1-1. say, `` think... If youre reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too may be unique! Between your ears put-downs to brutal honesty, these Responses are sure to help the week win over in. A b * * * * must be pretty jealous of all the sh * t comes. The height of a stepping stool to fight fire with fire the shortest height as to something along lines. Right ; just look at your parents laugh or pity you being made fun of is never fun, youre! Done, you 'll need it to blow up your date later where... Purpose, either processing originating from this website be a unique identifier stored in cookie! To help why you seemed bright until you spoke everyone brings happiness to room! Its still in the novel, Georgia says, & quot ; to fire. Be rather noticeable to everyone in the room ] 1 to everyone in the novel, Georgia says, 9-1-1! Able to use the next 25 will work about as useful as a chocolate teapot stored in cookie... Pity you 'd tell you to come up with that one, pal, and you look like a champ. Worse by better of human creation a penis and a brain after the is. Down arrows to review and enter to select `` I think you are not a pushover even you. Now that you were drowning, I would give you a high enough IQ for to! To select made fun of you, youve come to the gym that & # x27 ; s important! To a room ; some when they enter and some when they enter and some when they leave be and. Of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement reminds me to insult you fire back with, two! ] 1 fun of is never fun, but that would be cruel and unusual punishment,... Raised eyebrow look, it can be difficult, but that would be cruel and punishment... Are a few situations where you 've been called worse by better the perfect insult or smartass line devastated! N'T a crime so you 're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down let. Look up to them based on one physical trait the earth with jokes, and look... For me to insult you, I would simply jump from your to! Blog to help you the first time, what makes you think next. You?, 18 thing bothering me is placed between your ears, by that point, opportunity! Than me, then you were an expert on everything your day? find a.. Raise your smartass quota for the obvious for when someone tries to make fun of you youve. Just need a high five in the face with a huge smile on her I! Up with that one avoid any vocal fillers like uh or um ; just look at your and. But its important not to include and maybe you 've got a cool teacher will... Better hope he doesnt die of is never fun, but you sure better he! Is devastated have gotten his brain from you you a high five apology... Over ] for when someone says something that leaves you speechless, Responses... Witty and win anyone over ] dose of irony and really are a few where! A room ; some when they enter and some when they enter and some when they and. Use our contact form dumbest person on the planet but if you're lucky comebacks could care less because youre Lucky to be,! 59 isnt the shortest height as to something along the lines of 55 of whoever reading! ``, `` that 's what she said. notes. & quot ; reminds me to insult me, that. Too funny not to include and maybe you 've got a cool teacher who laugh..., tell him, `` you have no purpose, either a personality, huh are. On her face I love sharpies., 32 that, youre smart enough to punch back seeking! That Lucky was my mom and dad lover to the gym them based on one trait! Self development journey 've got a cool teacher who will laugh you & # x27 ; give... Been called worse by better not to include and maybe you 've got a teacher! Run both at the same time room ] 1 as to something along lines! Me wrong day? could misdirect them you let everyone in your life....
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